Am I doing Right

The caption says it all…the lines flashes through the eyes dipped in salty water. All working moms like me would vouch for it , several occasions we sit and try to rethink are we doing right.

I took break for 2 years after my world was filled with blue colors…(my son).two years passed by and then the feeling of worthlessness creeped in and had to take a strong step to join the herds again(I mean  it’s just a heard !!).Yes the decision was tough but I can say worth it.

I saw my son growing up being independent and quite mature at his age.But mind you things are not that rosy as it looks. When your heart, kid, is not well and there is an important deadline to achieve, never wanted a tag “ she is taking advantage of being women and mom” , I started being more true to my job too, but at times with heavy heart.i would always shudder with thoughts what if my son feels neglected seeing other moms around ….what if he gets bullied just me being not around….these thoughts crashes me each day.And then when you reach home late and eyes stare and ask you in husky tone “ is this your responsibility as mom ?”…well the other day I read somewhere don’t be supermom just be mom, n I keep on doing that. We can’t be perfect and just be ourselves.

Days passed and years passed and now my son is quiet used to me going to work…career started trying to climb up the ladders and then a decision to tear you apart comes your way again. It’s rightly said when all seems set ….thats the time you are gonna hit a stone.A golden opportunity just thrown at you , but with a hitch, had to travel for 364 days…(yes I count each day !!).

I took extreme step to go ahead with opportunity taking in considerations all pros and cons , I knew moms are strongest , a women once said to me when I was just going to leave India “ I am proud of you ,I like when moms become strong” these words made me feel special but tore me apart too becoz I know how strong I am from inside.

I landed up in a place which people dream to go to but which is miles apart from my heart back home, days pass by and I start counting back from the day I land in a place …and I wanna tell you I am not strong. I cry every other moment crashing on the floor, tears just roll , cry like kid missing my son, miss being hugged by him. Those tiny little fingers holding my hand tight, embracing me tight at night , those beautiful eyes who just need me are now thousand miles apart. Someone may say its was your decision ,I agree yes its mine, and I can say I don’t regret this decision but a mom sitting inside me just doesn’t let my eyes dry.

Don’t know if that tiny little heart of mine even knows how far I am but yes one day I am sure, he would stand beside me and say mom u were right  …..